Remove the ego and live in calmer waters.
We can sometimes get lost in our newfound identity as mothers. It is an unfamiliar way of defining ourselves as grown ups, and we must step into a version of “maturity” that may feel like an enigma at times. We become bombarded with the role of putting others’ needs before our own , possibly for the first time in our lives. In some ways, this can be a very welcome break from our own ego’s needs that may have previously ruled our motivations and actions.
Our identity prior to kids may have been based on our career accomplishments , our friendships, and our romantic partners. The role of motherhood offers us a platform for maturity in a new way but comes with a whole new range of challenges to our egos. True mom maturity is when our ego is in check, and the wisdom of our hearts prevail in our decision making and attitudes.
Yogi Bhajan offered a meditation to help us solidify this relationship in ourselves, so our egos don’t create chaos in our lives. He compared the ego’s effects on our lives to the effects of wind on calm ocean waters. When we take things personally and react, we are whipping up the winds on our own life’s waters.
The other day, after picking up the umpteenth wet towel from the floor, I broke down into my “Why doesn’t anyone respect me” rant. My nine year old daughter, who was born 35, looked at me calmly and said, “It’s not about you, Mommy. Sometimes we just get lazy.” And the truth is, she is correct. It is not about me. The true measure of maturity and wisdom is finding the balance, and when our emotional boat begins to rock, take a few minutes to re-calibrate, and try this meditation.
- Sit in a cross legged position with the arms bent at the elbows in at your sides. Place the palms a few inches away from each shoulder, palms flat and facing the body.
- Focus the eyes to the tip of the nose.
- Breathing normally, connect to your navel point (the third chakra) and pump the navel very powerfully by moving the navel point in and out.
- Continue this for 3 to 31 minutes.
- To end, inhale and hold the breath for 10 seconds while you pump the navel vigorously. Exhale. Repeat 3 times.
Try this for at least three minutes a day, and you may change your attitude and attain a higher altitude by rising above the chaos of the waves of ego and enjoy smooth sailing.