The 10-year-old in the movie Love, Actually describes being in love as “total agony,” and he’s not wrong, especially when it comes to the First Crush. A first crush is aptly named for the crushing effect it often has on hearts and self esteem. Here are some ideas to help our kiddos with this rite of passage.

1

Don’t embarrass them! Any teasing or cajoling of information, even when seemingly light-hearted, can cause already confusing adolescent feelings to feel even darker.

2

Give your kids some space. You may end up as the target of some misdirected anger. Acknowledge that you notice a sadness and ask what’s up, gently.

3

Offer yourself as a neutral ear. Knowing they have a safe touchstone in a parent can provide enormous comfort, when kids are ready to share. The key here is listen without judgement. Bite your tongue until they ask for advice.

4

Tell your story. When we empathize with someone, we align with them. Tell the truth. Be brave.

5

Give hope. Time truly does heal. It will get better. Remind your kids that being emotionally vulnerable takes strength and to not give up on love even when it’s “total agony.”

“ A first crush is aptly named for the crushing effect it often has on hearts and self esteem.”

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Author: Libby Hudson Lydecker

Libby Hudson Lydecker is a mother of two, a Kundalini Yoga teacher with over a decade of experience, a screenwriter and a Real Mom Daily partner. Libby Serves as the Lifestyle and Wellness Editor for RMD. As Lifestyle and Wellness Editor, Libby brings her wisdom of Kundalini Yoga and holistic life hacks to her articles as well as real world solutions through yoga techniques in her Mindful Mama video series created at RMD. Libby balances her time between her family, teaching Kundalini yoga to women and children, leading women’s yoga retreats in beautiful destinations around the country, writing screenplays and publishing articles for Real Mom Daily. Her ability to balance all of this comes from her strong yoga practice and a stronger sense of humor. Libby relates to Gloria Steinem’s quote, “Writing is the only thing that, when I do it, I don’t feel I should be doing something else.” As well as Yogi Bhajan’s quote, “I don’t believe in miracles, I rely on them.” Libby believes that Real Mom Daily is a forum for women to communicate consciously with kindness, real life perspectives and humor. RMD provides a supportive space for moms to feel understood and share their experiences. “When women gather together in consciousness, we can change the world.” View all posts by Libby Hudson Lydecker

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