(finding parenthood painfully funny)

When I was pregnant everyone would rub my belly (by the way, if we just met in an elevator please don’t touch) and they’d say, “Number one thing, as long as it’s healthy! Amiright?” And I’d say, “As long as it’s good looking! AMIRIGHT?” Then they’d either laugh or ask me if I was kidding. And I wasn’t. Let’s be honest.

Thank my lucky DNA strands, the kids came out gorgeous. And healthy. It was a win/win. Not a day goes by that I don’t appreciate the true gift of having children. They have made me feel the highest forms of love and pain and fear and gratitude. (That said, I really do miss brunch and finishing a sentence.)  Either way, I’d like to take a moment to remember the other wonderful things in my life. The things that I am eternally grateful for but have fallen to the bottom of my long list. Sometimes we need to remember the small stuff.

So here are my Bottom 10 Things I’m Grateful For:

# 707. The Invention of Tampons

# 708. Steve Guttenberg

# 709. Friendster My Space

# 710. Grease 2

# 711. The Neti Pot

# 712. The 21st Amendment

# 713. Seismic Retrofitting

# 714. Vanity License Plates

# 715. McDonald’s 24 Hours of Breakfast Availability

# 716. Puppy Breath

# 717. Skinemax

For more on Nicole Blaine or to catch her stand-up dates go to: www.NicoleBlaine.com.

Photo: Nicole Blaine Family Archives


Author: Nicole Blaine

Nicole Blaine has been a regular contributing writer to Real Mom Daily since its inception! Nicole and her producing and life partner, Mickey Blaine, executive produced the HBO comedy special, Quincy Jones: Burning the Light, and produce the hit show, Virgin Sacrifice, at the Westside Comedy Theater. As a stand-up comic, Nicole has been seen on NBC’s Today Show, E’s That Morning Show, The International FringeNYC Festival, Laughing Skull Comedy Festival and the Women in Comedy Festival. Nicole Blaine is (according to LA Weekly) “a remarkable performer with brains, beauty and rich comic delivery.” Nicole lives in Santa Monica with her husband and two kids. They all suck so she has great material. Her honest (and crass) observations showcase her (according to Backstage West) “humor, passion, dazzling charm and a naturalness that many performers, or even civilians, would kill for.” www.VirginSacrificeShow.com www.NicoleBlaine.com View all posts by Nicole Blaine

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