new baby

“As a first time mom, we’re all in the same boat, doing the best we can and learning as we go.”

If it hasn’t happened to you yet, it will. That well intentioned, yet over the line unsolicited parenting advice. As  first time moms, we’re all in the same boat, doing the best we can and learning as we go. We are in vulnerable place as our lives have now shifted into a brand new all-consuming new role and a new definition of ourselves. We inevitably have some trepidation and usually a little self-doubt. It is this insecurity that the parenting know-it-alls like to prey on. Yes, they may truly wish to help, but unfortunately it usually falls into the category of boundary crossing and bossiness.

From how you should be holding your new baby, to what  you should be feeding them and even how you should be sleeping are all subjects that apparently everyone you now encounter are experts. And it doesn’t just fall into the category of the elderly aunt or mother in law. Oh, no, you will find your mechanic has great advice for sore nipples and the lady at the post office just read an article of the dangers of processed food for kids under two.

Your close family such as your sister, your mother in law and your own mother will do what they do as you might expect and give opinions, advice and even the occasional judgment. But don’t be surprised when you get stopped on the street by a total stranger who wants to let you know how you should not allow your child to have a pacifier because they heard that it can lead to drug addiction in later life. Or the lady in the dress shop who advises to not let your kid nap in its stroller because you are ruining his need for scheduled nap times. Thanks, bitch, just ring me up.

In the end, remember that most people just want to be helpful and are lit up when they see a new mom and her baby. Give them a polite thank you and smile and be on your way. Read all the books, take all the classes but, at the end of the day, no one knows your baby like you do. Trust your instincts and just try to enjoy the attention.

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