Mother in law? More like monster in law, am I right?
But, really. As a wife, you will either get really lucky with an awesome mother in law who’s like a second mom to you or you will end up with a mother in law obsessed with her son. Transitioning into married life is difficult enough on its own. Add mother in law insults to the equation, and you’ve got a hot mess on your hands.
If you’ve got issues with your mother in law, keep reading for some insight and tips.
Mother In Law Pretends to Like Me
My mother in law pretends to like me…how do I know she doesn’t? Because she is the queen of backhanded compliments. For wives dealing with a dismissive mother in law, the only thing you can do is stay confident in yourself and your relationship with your husband. If you have in-laws who are passive-aggressive or maybe just blatantly unkind to you, discuss it with your husband. Make a plan, a schedule, a compromise, but don’t cut his mother off.
Remember; even though your mother in law insults you and disrespects your marriage, she is still the mother of your husband and he (probably) loves her. Create boundaries in the relationship and don’t let toxic in-laws crumble your love for each other.
Mother In Law Obsessed With My Husband
A mother who asks her son to put her before his own wife is wrong. There are no if ands or buts about it. Once a man gets married, his wife is his priority. As long as your husband understands this, the demands from his mother shouldn’t phase you.
Whether you believe it or not, you truly do have the advantage in this scenario. That doesn’t mean you have the right to be malicious or spiteful, it means you have the right to speak up for yourself and for your marriage.
The most effective way to help your mother in law understand that you come first is to communicate. How would she feel if she came second to her own husband? Communication is key to squashing beef with your mother in law, girl!
Mother In Law and Grandchildren Problems
You and your husband are in charge of your children. A grandmother who believes you are obligated to share your children is amiss. In a perfect world, grandparents are there to help out when you need it, love your children unconditionally, and spoil them from time to time. It isn’t their job to parent them – it’s yours. If your mother in law disciplines your children without your permission or is constantly criticizing their behavior, it comes off as disapproving of your parenting technique.
You want to tread lightly in most areas of your relationship with your mother in law. When it comes to your children, though, you’re boss and what you say goes. There’s no need to be rude or hurtful to your mother in law, but do make it clear that how you raise your children will most likely be different than how she did so. And that’s perfectly okay.
Traits Of a Jealous Mother in Law
It’s normal for a mother to be jealous when her son gets married and starts a new life of his own. What’s not normal is when your mother in law always plays the jealous victim and butts in on your relationship.
If you’re engaged, set up these boundaries now. It’ll be easier for everyone if the transition from son to husband is done at the beginning of the relationship. For those who have dealt with a jealous mother in law for as long as you can remember, it’s never too late to make your feelings known. Communicate with her in love and do it with the support of your husband.
Mother In Law Secrets
No matter how close you are to your mother in law, what happens between you and her son should be kept private. Exposing too much of your relationship can cause issues between you two. Her natural instinct is to protect her son, making it difficult for her to give advice without being biased. Having a healthy and happy relationship with your mother in law doesn’t mean divulging all of your marriage secrets. Some things are better left unknown.
It’s challenging to find a balance with your mother in law, but always remember she’s important to the person you love more than anything, your husband. Kindness, love, and consideration will go a long way with your mother in law. For more relationship advice, visit our blog!