We love our children, no doubt. But many women (and men!) don’t love what’s happened to their sex life since having their bundles of joy. What’s a couple to do? It’s time to reconnect and make sex a priority again.

Want to give things a bit of a boost in the boudoir? Make your together time a little saucier, sexier, and satisfactory? Today’s sex toys and vibrators are designed for more gratifying, sensual, fun experiences. But how do you get your partner to sign on?

Men and women become aroused at different speeds. Most women arouse much slower than men and need more stimulation and attention. A combination of touch, stimulation and a vibrator can help you both become aroused together and achieve greater orgasms.

Some simple tips on how to introduce sex toys into the bedroom.

1) Talk, talk sexy, but talk!

Communication is key. Get comfortable talking about sex with your partner. Start having pillow talk conversations about your sex life, what you like, your interests and desires. Find out what his are. Assure him that you love your sex life with him, and a little extra sizzle in the sheets can only enhance your time together. Introduce the idea of a toy, and the fun that could be had. Remind him that a toy could never replace his touch and his loving gaze. And of course, vibrators can’t cuddle or kiss.

2) Get curious!

Another way to introduce toys into the bedroom is discuss an article (like this one) that is about enhancing your sex life. You’re curious. Is he? Today’s sex toys come in a variety of shapes, sizes, and capabilities. Introduce a toy that is not intimidating and does not look like a penis, like the Lelo Lily 2. It’s not about size and performance but about added sensations and satisfaction that you can enjoy together.

Has he got a move that you like? Ask him to experiment on you with the toy. What would the sensations be like with some added lubrication and vibration? Your reaction, moans and sighs, will entice him to continue exploring!

You can shop together for a toy that can be used together. The Je Joue Mio is designed to be used during intercourse, providing extra stimulation and sensations for both partners!

Find yourself alone at home with a few minutes to spare? Take some time for yourself, get curious and explore what makes your body sing! Sexual wellbeing is important at all stages of motherhood. Take a few minutes every week to reconnect with yourself and your body. Having an orgasm is the natural way to increase endorphins, reduce stress, and relax. Happy mommies make for happier families.

3) It’s all in the fingertips

Touch is one of the most important senses, and one of the first things to fall by the wayside between couples. To spice up a dull evening just add touch, massage, and vibration. Start with a luxury aromatic massage oil, like Kama Sutra Massage Coconut Pineapple (other varieties available). The aroma of the massage oil will help release stress, tension, and inhibitions. Add to your massage with a personal massager. The SOLA Egg Massager is a quirky, yet effective pressure sensitive massager. It has different fittings and can be used in a variety of ways. The shape of this massager and its fittings will be non-threatening to your partner. You can have fun all night experimenting!


Take your time, explore, and have fun. Check in often with your partner when using a new toy. Ask them, “Is this good for you? Do you like it when I do this?” Communicate, touch, relax, and have fun. Isn’t that what sex is about?


Judy Santos, entrepreneur, mother of 2, figuring out life, motherhood and business. Visit her new ecommerce website, Yasmine’s Room, a curated online platform for women offering news, stories, and products on love, pleasure, and well-being.

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