(finding parenthood painfully funny)

When I was pregnant everyone would rub my belly (by the way, if we just met in an elevator please don’t touch) and they’d say, “Number one thing, as long as it’s healthy! Amiright?” And I’d say, “As long as it’s good looking! AMIRIGHT?” Then they’d either laugh or ask me if I was kidding. And I wasn’t. Let’s be honest.

Thank my lucky DNA strands, the kids came out gorgeous. And healthy. It was a win/win. Not a day goes by that I don’t appreciate the true gift of having children. They have made me feel the highest forms of love and pain and fear and gratitude. (That said, I really do miss brunch and finishing a sentence.)  Either way, I’d like to take a moment to remember the other wonderful things in my life. The things that I am eternally grateful for but have fallen to the bottom of my long list. Sometimes we need to remember the small stuff.

So here are my Bottom 10 Things I’m Grateful For:

# 707. The Invention of Tampons

# 708. Steve Guttenberg

# 709. Friendster My Space

# 710. Grease 2

# 711. The Neti Pot

# 712. The 21st Amendment

# 713. Seismic Retrofitting

# 714. Vanity License Plates

# 715. McDonald’s 24 Hours of Breakfast Availability

# 716. Puppy Breath

# 717. Skinemax

For more on Nicole Blaine or to catch her stand-up dates go to: www.NicoleBlaine.com.

Photo: Nicole Blaine Family Archives

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