“Help. Help. Help. Does saying that word send shivers down your spine? ”
No, it’s not “I love you.” While yes, those are important words to say, those are not the three little words I’m talking about. Every mom needs to embed the following words into your daily vocabulary and watch how they will revolutionize your life. What are they? I need help.
Help. Help. Help. Does saying that word send shivers down your spine? Does it set off an emotional sensor in your mind that says you are not good enough if you ask for help ? Why is saying “I need help” wrought with shame?
There is this notion that as a mother, you must be everything to everyone at all times. This idea will cause you great strife, and lead to burnout and exhaustion before your kids reach Kindergarten.
Asking for assistance is not a sign of weakness. Quite the opposite actually. When you can admit that you need support, it shows incredible strength – in character and in mind.
Mothers often have what I classify as martyrdom syndrome, meaning they feel the need to sacrifice themselves and their own well-being for the sake of others. They become the victims of their own self-imposed suffering. If I ask for aid, then I will be seen as less than, or I’ll be inconveniencing someone, or…the list goes on.
I see it all too often. It’s part of a mother’s giving nature, to continue to give and give, even if that means forsaking herself. Yet, the art of asking for assistance will revolutionize your life. When I started asking for support and being willing to receive it, everything shifted and guess what? Life became significantly easier. I know, it seems like such an obvious statement, yet so many women are afraid to ask for support.
Not everything is meant to be done alone, in a silo, or in isolation. If you are sick and someone offers to bring you chicken soup, accept the offer graciously. If you are hauling bags of groceries and the clerk offers to help you to your car, accept the offer graciously. If you are find yourself struggling to do the laundry, make dinner, feed the dogs, plus all of the other million and one things you have to do, then by all means, please say these three words, “I need help.”
It is worth repeating, by your willingness to ask for assistance, you are showing your true strength. There is no shame in asking for help, there is no failure in asking for guidance. In doing so, you empower those around you to give the gift you need the most. We all get by with a little help. It’s the only way.